I’m sitting here crying – just sat down - getting home after a day of running errands – and earlier today while getting my hair done crackberry lets me know i have facebook notifications...
Between You and Leslie Feinberg
Leslie Feinberg July 17 at 12:20pm
Thank you for extending your FB handshake to me. I'm so ill right now (info in my FB notes) that all I can say is: I appreciate our connection. -- Leslie
leslie feinberg friended me on facebook – i just automatically requested i don’t know when – and i forgot about it –
i don’t want to feel like i so blindly missed my chance to to have such an important moment
i thought i could wait until i got home – to read the facebook notes for info – i tried on crackberry but it was slow and hard to read – and i figured it was best to wait until i got home on the computer – and i could know what was going on before replying –
and yes – as soon as i got home – i went to facebook –
Leslie Feinberg Health alert: Heart problems are forcing me to shut down interactivity on my fb wall and will keep me from posting more information for at least a week.
When I do resume with a health update, I will post to a new page that will be easier for me to maintain because you can add yourselves as friends at any time: "Leslie Feinberg on facebook."
i’m conflicted and can’t figure out what my issue is and why this moment seems so tragic and i feel like i missed my chance to connect – i didn’t reply on the spot – it didn’t really dawn on me that leslie feinberg was on facebook at that moment and i could have replied – i could have known that i actually communicated with my inspiration –
then i realized instead of feeling like i missed something – glass half empty thinking – i should feel good and be thankful that someone who is this almost mythic monumental icon to me took the time to write a note - to me –
i’m learning to see the glass really is half full...
i went to the new public facebook page... and posted on the wall there...
Sara Soffa and we just connected this morning... by the time i got home everything was gone... i thank you for taking the time to add me... as a writer you are my inspiration... i hope you know how much the words you sent mean... all my love and whatever strength i can send are sent to you...
I found these words later - from the original Leslie Feinberg facebook page - no longer accessible - and knew the glass was full - completely full...
why I friended you
Monday, July 20, 2009 at 3:29pm
Thank you for returning my handshake of friendship on facebook. I friended you because I want to personally explain my health situation and because I want to establish an ongoing connection with you. I haven't been able to answer many emails since October 2007 because of severe illness.
After 30 years of having my personhood pathologized by doctors, now scientific evidence-based care from a medical group that has treated me with respect and compassion quickly revealed diagnoses:
Lyme disease, Babesiosis, Bartonella, parasitic infection and damage from years of long treatments with antibiotics for recurring, potentially life-threatening infections. Lyme is a spirochete, similar to syphilis--difficult to treat after 30 years of infection. Babesiosis is similar to malaria, and Bartonella is a relative of WWI trench fever.
After years of weight gain accompanying the illnesses, I've lost a third of my body weight since February 2008, and at this time I'm still wasting. More diagnostic work continues.
I had wanted to send you an individual, personal message about why I befriended you at this time, and why it is important to me to keep our connection alive in the face of the struggles that confront us. But I'm battling for ounces right now. And at this time, it's becoming more difficult to use text to communicate on a daily basis.
If you've sent me a message, or written on my wall, and I haven't responded, I want you to know that I didn't friend you in order to slight you or take you for granted. I'm planning live-time opportunities to get online and be able to chat with you, even briefly. I'm hoping to see you--online or in person--on September 5 with a live feed. (more details when available at:http://wwwtransgenderwarrior.org/). And I'll post dates and times in advance on FB to let you know when I'm planning to be online and can chat.
It's a lot easier for me to communicate using photographs and computer code. I was thrilled to see the first photo tag from a friend on my wall. You'll find more photos, video and other information on my web site.
While I'm not online, I have help organizing, digitizing, and archiving information that people have asked me for in the last year-and-a-half. Thanks to the help of Torry Mendoza, it's being posted on my web site as a communication hub.
My connection with you matters to me. And as long as the struggle continues, and as long as I can draw a breath, you'll find me there.
in solidarity and struggle,
Leslie Feinberg
http://www.transgenderwarrior.org/
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